Immersion Learning

This post is LONG overdue, but I will do my best to do the subject justice.

I’m pretty sure it was the first full week we were back at work after Lunar New Year.  We got a message Sunday night from our head teacher that we needed to wear black because we would be going to a funeral after work.  Ooooookkk….  Upon arriving at work we found out that the mother of one of the Korean teachers at another branch of the haegwon in Daegu had passed away. 

After work we all shuffled downstairs and packed into a few of the Korean teacher’s cars.  I have to admit, I got a good car.  I talked with one of the teacher’s about beer, we played some cell phone games and got a little lost.  It’s really nice to spend time with our co-teachers outside of the office; they’re much more relaxed. 

Despite getting lost, we were still among the earliest to arrive at the hospital.  I can’t say I know much about Korean funerals except what I observed that night and the little bit that our head teacher told us.  We parked and then went into a large hall at the front of the hospital.  It’s basically a big not very private funeral home, conveniently located next to the hospital.  We lingered in the front hall for a long time, trying not to laugh or do anything inappropriate.  But we were waiting about half an hour for the rest of the branches to arrive. 

When all three branches were present, we headed upstairs.  Somehow, I ended up in the front.  Thankfully, we were very close to two of the guys that have been working at the haegwon for three plus years.  We got shuffled into a smaller room and, of course, we had to take off our shoes.  To our left, about fifteen people say eating food.  To our right I could see and empty room and hear crying.  Meanwhile, my friend and I were frantically trying to blend into the crowd because we had no idea what was going on.  I wasn’t trying to avoid the situation, but I was concerned about making a horrible social gaffe.  Luckily, some of the managers came through and went first.  They did some very formal bowing (kneeling and touching their heads to the floor).  Meanwhile, the woman’s son and daughter stood in traditional Korean clothing sobbing and wailing.  With some quick whispering we learned we were to go in, bow to the picture of the mother and bow to the sobbing family members, no kneeling necessary.  We did this, squeezed out and passed the info along to the other bewildered Westerners.

Thinking our duty was done, we put our shoes back on only to be ushered across the hall to another room (shoes off again).  We all took seats at tables as the staff brought out trays and trays off food and drinks.  It seemed never ending.  Part of the tradition is for mourners to stay and have a meal with the family, who aren’t allowed to leave the deceased.  There’s a traditional beef soup that goes along as well.  Again, we all tried to eat and not do anything disrespectful.  I think we sat there for at least 45 minutes, all kind of wondering when we could leave.  This was during our intensive lessons, when we taught from 9am to 7pm every day with two hours of extra classes.  Then the big bosses come in, so we all have to stand and bow.  Then he had to go talk to the teacher and pay his respects and then he had to eat.  So we all just sat around like bumps on a log trying to make conversation.

Eventually he thanked us for coming and we were allowed to leave.  I couldn’t wait.   But  that was not the last of our encounters with the Big Boss.  In a belated New Year’s celebration, he decided to get us all lunch.  So on Wednesday, of the same week, we all came in early again and boarded t he school bus.  We were taken to an old middle school (the kids were on vacation).  Because the room was too small for all of us to eat at once, we had to eat in shifts.  So while we waited for our shift the rest of us waited on the floor of a locker room.  Luckily, the locker room was far cleaner than any locker room I have ever been in.  The soup we had is a traditional New Year’s soup that has rice cakes and beef in it.  When you eat it, you become one year older.  Try it, you’ll see.